Category Archives: humour

If woman had invented the world…

16 Saturday Nov 2013

Posted by in humour, Philosophy, sex

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If you think there would be;

Roads paved in pink; mandatory afternoon tea and chat time; Piggy Back rides instead of cars; rescue dogs getting the vote; men running around in high heels in hopes of getting a sexy glance; cities designed like enchanted fairy lands; older women tossing away their partners for younger ones; buildings bedazzled by law; men wearing sheets and hiding in homes while women ride around naked with the wind in their hair; menstrual tents on every corner; holidays dedicated to crying.

Then you don’t know women at all!

Just as sperm emerges from a man’s body, people emerge from a woman’s body.

If a man’s body inspires him to build guns, submarines, skyscrapers and pursue imperialistic exploration then it is highly probable that a woman’s body would inspire her to create;

Political centres that share a wall with a birthing centre; grandmothers having veto power; people living underground and growing food on their roofs; walls and bridges grown from a bacterial batter; hugs would be the only therapy; no computers needed as woman’s intuition would find a way to connect the entire world; if you had a quarrel with a neighbour you would have to go live with them and eat their food and learn their language, not kill them; telling the truth would be so fun there would be no need for lawyers; it would be natural for all bodies, no matter what style, to have dignity; electricity would be developed from fireflies and yes… there would be lots of dancing to the sound of the wind and things would be bedazzled.

Let your body think!

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Will you take the Porn test?

12 Tuesday Nov 2013

Posted by in humour, Philosophy, sex

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What is ‘Porn’?

Well, we think the saying ‘You’ll know it when you see it’ is pretty accurate. And what that means is ‘Porn’ is in the eyes of the beholder.

We all share the same beginning – our first cells came together as the result of a sexual union (IVF – sexual union once removed). We all began inside the body of a woman from the addition of male sperm primarily though sexual intercourse.

Lovely!

So how is it that the sexual act – the great dance that creates our very life – has become hidden and nasty and ‘dirty’?

Perhaps it’s because we aren’t given an opportunity to develop ourselves to appreciate our humble, fleshy beginnings. Common cultural humour is the repulsion of the very thought of our parents ‘doing it’. Why are we repulsed at the thought of our parents doing something that creates human life, improves their health and deepens their relationship to one another?

The sexual urge is indeed very powerful. It’s a frequency of great hunger that courses through us. It can learn to identify with almost anything for satisfaction, people have sex with cars and Furries and children.

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 There is something more powerful than the instinct to survive and the urge for sex. It’s the power of an idea. It is not that hard to implant an idea into a mind to override these powerful instincts to the point of someone killing them self and others. Shaming, punishing, ostracizing, torturing, murdering…for an idea.

So what are your ideas? Take a look at these images and scan yourself. What are you experiencing? Whose ideas are you reacting to? Your own? Your cultures? Your ancestors? What do you think about where you came from? Where does your ‘perv’ response begin?

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Sex is the urge to create. Men are taking pills to make them erect when the body is not willing, women are using sexuality to have power and feel lost when it fades. Millions of children and women are being used as sexual slaves while you read this. Create something else. It begins with you.

The new creation story – which is not a story at all – you came from the body of a woman.

Where does your ‘perv’ response begin?

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It’s time to take a look at blood.

09 Saturday Nov 2013

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 You are reading this partly because your blood is rushing around inside you making trillions of life creating exchanges that your mere mind cannot begin to comprehend.

Makes you wonder why we listen to our mind at all!

Our ancestors puzzled over blood. If someone got cut and too much of this substance leaked out the person would die. When blood stopped coming to a woman for several moons a baby would grow in her.

It’s blood that makes life! Blood staying in a woman is what makes a human! Blood is the juice that creates life!

Now this was a reasonable thing to surmise when sex was a function like eating and crapping, just part of the rhythm of life.

Male circumcision began as a rite to give the pubescent male the power of blood in his nether regions. This mimicked the blood that came to a young woman when her body began to menstruate, the male emulating this ‘magical’ and life creating body change in order to gain power over life.

This view of menstrual blood led to the hope that sacrificing an animal, it’s blood dedicated to some spirit/god/power, would grant wishes. (no judgement)

The bible reads like an endless hack and whack of some lovely farm animals and often people as well. eg: to get rid of leprosy: sacrifice a ram and two sheep, have their entrails read by the priest and their blood wiped on your right side. Rivers of blood flowed in the temples and on alters worldwide.

People, get a grip, it’s just a menstrual cycle!

The next evolutionary Aha! was when someone realized that it wasn’t blood but semen that created life. I wish I could say this was an improvement but alas, no.  Now that men could claim ownership of a child, they wanted to make sure that the child was theirs and began controlling female sexual freedom.

Nothing tampers a woman’s sex drive more than seeing her besties’ head get chopped off for having a child while their husband was at war.

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Give menstruation a break!

Menstruation is the sign of a healthy body. ‘PMS’ is a sign that you need to improve some aspect of your health – unless you think you were designed to go crabbing around, getting all weepy and irrational. This myth gets used to deny women responsible jobs and dismiss viable and needed discussions.

Don’t take pills to stop your flow! The world could learn from the rhythm of the cycle of creation you carry – it’s exhausted from trying to be run like a machine!

This in no way means you should be waving your tampons in peoples faces! Absolument pas! Menstruation is not a sport!

Ride that rhythm ladies! It’s what life requires!

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Eat more veggies! Get sound sleep! Hydrate! Listen to your body!

It’s trying to love you!

 

Let’s take a look at the female ego.

02 Saturday Nov 2013

Posted by in humour, Philosophy

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It’s very popular to not have an ego these days. The ego gets a very bad rap and many people feel it is the root of many problems. – egotistical, full of yourself – there are even classes on how to get rid of your ego.

Well, Ladies, here at the PinkyLuxSchool we want you to do no such thing! The female ego hasn’t even had a proper debutantes ball into society yet and it becomes popular not to have one.

We must bring into full fashion the true ‘Female Identity’ and let the world get a load of how innately intelligent and wisely kind women are.

The first to realize this of course will be you!

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If you want to know what the world thinks of us go watch a Romantic Comedy!

It’s time to bring out your real Ego!!!

Start identifying with the vehicle you are cruising around in – the greatest creative collection of protoplasm the world has ever known. No more whining about your menstrual cycle and how someone doesn’t understand how to love you.

You have bigger fish to fry.

Ego – the part of a person that is conscious and thinks; the self

I know it has been tough what with the Barbie doll as an ideal and living in a world that has been built in thought word and deed by the hard work of the male of our species.

Wait a minute!

Every one of those males was grown in the female body! Nice work!

It is the female body that is the beginning of all creation!

What kind of world would have been created if the female of our species had been raised to create the world? If culture had listened to the harmony and rhythm of the womb from which they came from to expand our world?  What lives would we be living?

The world we live in was certainly inspired by the male creative organ what with the shooting of guns being so popular along with the rushing around the world marking everyone else’s territory with DNA.

Add your true female ego to the mix! Be ‘full of yourself’!

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The world needs you!

Are women even inside women anymore?

30 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by in humour, Philosophy

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Something a little Macabre for the season!

When you go for a stroll through a park it is common to come upon a statue.

A statue of a man is likely to be dressed in period clothes, have a name and date attached, along with some idea of the deeds he has contributed to society.

A statue of a woman is likely to be an idealized generic beauty that comes not with a name but with a quality like Justice, Mercy or Liberty.

Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 12.27.20 PMThis is something you can check out for yourself.

Next, go to an art museum and look at the pictures of women that have been revered by society for centuries. You will find marvelous depictions of women from the perspective of the brilliant male artist.

And the histories of the world have very little to say about women and children. I guess they were busy doing other things. Too busy to write about themselves it’s certain!

Reading much of the great literature requires a transposing of he for she if a lady is to take the journey of the protagonist. It’s exhausting!

In our modern culture women are still predominately drawn from male ‘ideas’ of women – don’t make me use statistics!

We have been taking in ‘ideas’ of what a woman is for so many centuries while living in political/cultural/religious institutions built from a male perspective how is it even possible that real women are still inside women!

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I know you are in there!

Let’s get inventing! Emergency Style!

Confused about your Gender?

02 Wednesday Oct 2013

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Don’t be. You are of the human gender.

 Here at the PinkyLuxSchool we don’t parse men and women up by insisting that they each have male and female qualities. We call bullshit. Check it out.

Here are some ‘typical female’ qualities;

dependent, emotional, graceful, weak, nurturing, soft, passive, receptive

Here are some ‘typical male’ qualities;

independent, non-emotional, aggressive, competitive, strong, sexually aggressive

Surely you recognize yourself as capable of having all these qualities no matter what gender you are because they are human qualities. The more we associate these qualities with one gender or another, ‘she’s so male because she is aggressive’, ‘he’s so feminine because he is nurturing’ the more we restrict and build in prejudices’ to the full palette of each person.

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Why can’t a man crying be a sad man and not ‘someone showing his feminine side’? Why can’t a sexually aggressive woman be a passionate woman and not a ‘has a sex drive like a man’ kind of woman? It can be so! With this one simple adjustment we can eliminate all sorts of stereotypical judgements towards those that come out of a woman’s undercarriage. A woman is a woman with all the human qualities and a man is a man with all the human qualities and a transgender person is a person with all the human qualities..

Everyone is human, having human qualities. Lovely.

* So, why ‘PinkyLuxSchoolforGirls’ you ask and I am glad you did. ‘Girls’ is used in the way that ‘guys’ is used to refer to a mixed group. It’s used as a cultural adjustment tool. So, I invite all you ‘girls’ to join the student body. email me at wendel@wendelmeldrum.com to be added to the list.

Creation is not a Myth

26 Thursday Sep 2013

Posted by in humour, Philosophy

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Not a Story –

There is One True Undeniable Fact that no person can disagree with – ‘You and every person that has ever lived came out of the body of a woman.’

This is not a myth, it’s not a story, it’s not a hypothesis or a philosophy or the result of a government funded study or an opinion poll gathered from a news program. It’s not a religious belief, doesn’t require faith or a common language and you don’t need a class or an ancient text to know this fact. This fact doesn’t require a scholar or a professional in the field or a doctor or a comparative study. It is the factual beginning of each self. It is the one fact
we all share with every person that we engage with in love, hate, jealousy, kindness, judgement, anger, apathy, passion, work, play, sex and laughter, etc.

You came from the body of a woman.

Women produce people.
People are the product of women.

How did referring to all of humanity as ‘mankind’ become the norm? For in fact ‘we are the kind that comes from women’ quite literally. So…

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To be politically correct we say ‘humankind’ now, which is lovely and true of course but here at ‘PinkyLux School for Girls’ we enjoy saying ‘womankind’ in recognition of the first thing the whole world can finally agree upon – our common, fleshy and true beginning.

Try it.

* sperm component at conception is noted and appreciated.